2020

One of my mantras for 2020 became:  “No More Suffering.  I am done with suffering.  I want to Live with Joy!”  This was only possible due to all the forced Lockdowns and cause to go within and take head of what is really important in my Life and what Living is all about…if it was all going to end soon…WHAT WOULD I DO OR BE and WHO would I spend my days with?

I have to say, there was some fear and confusion, plotting how I was going to prepare for Armageddon…and then…a long…deep…breath…and…space…and…time…and more space….and more time…WHAT A RELIEF…after years of manifesting and building and creating and nurturing children and growing business and and and …

Not to take attention away from the suffering that was happening to many individuals, families & communities all around the world. I prayed daily. Yet I had to draw my world inwards to a very small circle, and just focus on what was before me, in the present. Heart Big, World Small.

I did not look too far ahead. I chose to adjust my sails to the winds, rather than try to control them.

I did not perceive that some relationships would crumble beneath me. Nor that I would discover swimming in the cold wild waters of Kerry. Nor that I would begin a healing journey that would take me right back to the very beginning of my life, and start to unravel me in ways I wasn’t quite expecting.   

Maybe that is the way with these things…in our quiet moments, we call upon and pray for, more love and connection and happiness in our lives. We can’t specify HOW this is going to be delivered. And most of the time, these things are not presented with fluffy bows and soft places to land…

Yet, there is always someone or something that has your back. Even in the most loneliness of times, when you feel everyone has forsaken you and there is not a soul on the earth who is there, who gets you, who has you…there is always a presence…your angels, God, Spirit…you are never ever alone…ever…

I leave you with a very special poem by John O’Donoghue

“May you be blessed in the holy names of those
Who, without you knowing it,
Help to carry and lighten your pain.”

May you know serenity
When you are called
To enter the house of suffering.

May a window of light always surprise you.

May you be granted the wisdom
To avoid false resistance;
When suffering knocks on the door of your life,
May you glimpse its eventual gifts.

May you be able to receive the fruits of suffering.

May memory bless and protect you
With the hard-earned light of past travail;
To remind you that you have survived before
And though th darkness now is deep,
You will soon see the approaching light.

May the grace of time heal your wounds.

may you know that though the storm might rage,
Not a hair of your head will be harmed.”